


Always Knock First

by YoChillDex



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bitty is the Mom Friend, M/M, Mild Kink, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6549199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoChillDex/pseuds/YoChillDex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Walking in on anyone is awkward, so I’m sure you’re a lil’ flustered right now,” Bitty said haltingly. “And I’m really sorry that happened, but we need to talk to you about it.” He twisted his hands nervously and frowned for a second. “Um. Lemme get you some pie first.”</p>
<p>[Have you seen that episode of Psych where Shawn walks in on his parents having sex? This is basically that, featuring serious-dad-Jack, flustered-mom-Bitty, and a very startled tadpole. Written before the real tadpoles were introduced, posted afterwards.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always Knock First

**Author's Note:**

> Once upon a time, my best friend and I laughed so hard at this scene [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xf2Ydlg0qWA] that we couldn't breathe. When we calmed down, she said something like, "What if some freshman named Goose walked in on Jack and Bitty and Bitty just yelled, 'GOOOOOOOOOOSE' exactly like that? You should write that." So I did. I wrote this before the actual tadpoles were introduced, but I'm just going to pretend Goose is one of the nameless background tadpoles.

If Goose hung around the Haus more than the other frogs, it definitely was _not_ because the kitchen smelled exactly like his family’s bakery in New Haven, and it was _not_ because Bitty – who brought the sweet scent of cinnamon sugar wherever he went and responded to emotional crises by baking – reminded Goose of his mom.

Ben Gosling was a grown-ass, six-foot-one 18-year-old and he was _not_ going to admit he was homesick.

By the end of the semester, though, Goose was all but a permanent fixture at the kitchen table – doing his homework or eating whatever Bitty had just pulled out of the oven – and had started the joke among the younger players of calling the short right-winger “Mom.” He asked Bitty for schedule advice, told him about the cute girl he met in his public speaking class, and on a few occasions, asked him about what living with Jack Zimmermann had been like.

It was weird knowing that Jack Zimmermann – _the_ Jack Zimmermann, the same Jack Zimmermann who’d signed to his favorite team, the same Jack Zimmermann whom hockey commentators mentioned more than they said more than their own names – had once lived here, had eaten in this kitchen and watched TV on that couch. He was _friends_ with the older guys on the team.

But Goose hadn’t expected to actually ever meet Jack Zimmermann.

Especially under the circumstances he did.

__/ o \\__

The stupid thing is, he doesn’t even remember what he went up to ask Bitty about. It completely vanished from his brain the second he walked into Bitty’s room.

When Goose whipped open the bedroom door, Bitty was _barely_ clothed – if one could even call the tiny scrap of fabric he was wearing “underwear” (which, for the record, Goose would not) – and he was straddling some chiseled, _actually_ naked guy whose wrists were tied to the bedframe. From the doorway, Goose couldn’t see the guy’s face. He could, however, see the disturbingly seductive look on Bitty’s – the tiny, sly smile and the way he bit his lip while predatorily looking at the guy through his eyelashes.

“You’re so good for me, sweetheart,” Bitty purred, skimming his hands down the mystery guy’s chest and stomach. It dragged a desperate, strangled moan out of the guy, who bucked his hips and cursed in a language Goose didn’t recognize.

Horrified, Goose gasped and his teammate’s head snapped up.

“Goose!” Bitty yelped, launching off the bed and the boy. While he scrambled for a blanket, Mystery Dude, obviously confused and put off by the sudden change in plans, craned his neck to look at the doorway.

“Oh,” said Jack Zimmermann.

__/ o \\__

“I feel like I just saw my mom having sex,” Goose whispered. Holster patted his shoulder and sighed.

“I know, bro.”

After he’d bolted from Bitty’s doorway, Goose had been intercepted by Ransom and Holster, who took one look at the mix of shock and embarrassment on his face and knew exactly what had happened. The older defensemen shepherded him into the kitchen and sat him down at the table. A few minutes later, Bitty slunk into the room, red-faced and apologetic, followed by a silent Jack Zimmermann.

“Walking in on anyone is awkward, so I’m sure you’re a lil’ flustered right now,” Bitty said haltingly. “And I’m really sorry that happened, but we need to talk to you about it.” He twisted his hands nervously and frowned for a second. “Um. Lemme get you some pie first.”

Jack pulled out the chair across from Goose at sat down.

“I heard you like the Falconers,” Jack said, and… that was not what Goose was expecting. He shifted in his seat.

“Um. Yeah,” Goose mumbled. “You guys are my favorite team.”

Jack nodded thoughtfully, then cleared his throat. “Look, uh… Goose. Playing in the NHL doesn’t offer me a lot of privacy, so keeping my personal life out of the news is – it’s very important to me. Do you understand?”

“I’m – Wait, you’re worried I’m going to tell everyone I saw you and Bitty – um…?” Goose frowned. “Dude, no. You’re like my favorite player. Why would I throw you under the bus like that?”

Jack seemed to relax, but Bitty still looked nervous.

“Well, we just have to be sure,” Bitty said, pushing a plate of blueberry pie in front of Goose. His face was still pink, and his hands fluttered anxiously – adjusting the hem of his t-shirt, gingerly resting one on Jack’s shoulder for a second before jerking away, wiping his hands for the hundredth time on the dishtowel he was holding. “Y’know, it’s just – I mean, I trust you – _we_ trust you – but it’s a big deal, and we don’t want everyone to know we’re –“

“Sexually intimate,” Holster whispered obnoxiously from the doorway.

“Boys, leave,” Jack barked. Giggling, Holster and Ransom disappeared down the hall.

Jack sighed and looked back at Goose. “So you won’t say anything?”

“I promise, man. I’m not a dick.” He glanced over at Bitty and squirmed a little in his seat. “Um, so can I go now? ‘Cause talking to a pro hockey player about banging my teammate is like… hella awkward.”

“Oh, sure, sure,” Bitty said quickly. “You want some pie to bring back to your dorm?”

“I’m good,” Goose said. “I’m, uh. Not really hungry.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my gosh this is so dumb. Also, you better believe that Ransom and Holster harass Goose about this every chance they get (without giving anything away to bystanders, obviously.)
> 
> R/H: Hey, Goose. Remember that one time you -  
> Goose: NO  
> Goose: NOPE NO NO NO NO  
> Goose: I TOLD YOU TO STOP REMINDING ME
> 
> Poor Goose.


End file.
